I realized that although I was feeling a loss associated with my gym membership, that this was also an opportunity to make a change. Part of that was a reframing of the loss. I started to think about it the same way I felt when my ADA parking permit expired. Back then, I thought about how I should be celebrating that I no longer needed it, rather than dwelling on the losses associated with not having it.

The gym membership is the same thing. The new program that is replacing the one I was on, only allows people who are two years out of treatment. They do not consider the ups and downs of long term hormone therapy as treatment. This means that I no longer qualify. By their measure I’m almost 3 years out of treatment (March 17 is 3 years since my last surgery). I have also had the gym membership for 2 years – so I have already benefited from the program for two years. Perhaps it is time that I moved on. I looked at a regular membership at that gym, but at $200/mo it just didn’t make sense. That is a LOT of money, given that I primarily use the pool.

And so, I’m now in the hunt for a new gym membership. I’m exploring options that might work better for me. I’m looking into a yoga studio, which might address part of my gym needs. I also would like to find a decent salt water pool for regular swimming. I checked out one local gym and was under-impressed.

I’m finding myself look at the things I did before cancer. Swimming, yoga, biking … I need to get back into biking. Since cancer, I’ve added hiking to the mix. I’m actually at a point where I’m doing too many things, that I have trouble deciding which activity I should do on a given day.

I have reframed my loss into a transition that I shall celebrate. I’m taking one more step towards post-cancer normalcy … not have the membership means I’m not tied to that gym. It means I have freedom to try out other things … once my toe is in good enough shape for yoga (not allowed yet – doctors orders that I can only do exercise that involves the support of my hiking shoes) I’ll join a couple of friends for some regular yoga practice. If the weather holds, I’ll do more biking. And with each day, I add a little more distance to my hiking … hoping to be back on the trails soon.