Mirror Mirror on the wall
One thing about California – the closet sliding doors are often made of full length mirrors. This means that every day, after my shower, as I walk passed the closet to the bedroom, I see naked self in the mirror.
In many ways, this has helped me heal. It has helped me see myself – my scars – and accept them. My breast surgeon and plastic surgeon both did a remarkable job. Sure, my body isn’t perfect (no ones is), but I’m pretty happy with the outcome.
I do think looking in the mirror every day helps. It helps me accept my body. It is also a constant reminder – so are all the pills I take at 9am and 9pm each day. I am hoping that one day, I will internalize all this change – and it won’t be something that I think about – that the scars will not be a reminder, but rather will just be me. Someday. Just not yet … I’m not there yet. For now, I’ll choose to be happy with the body that I have, and try to accept what has happened and move forward.
Sounds like a plan. The worst is mirrored shower doors adjacent to the toilet. What’s worse than naked self? Naked self seated on the john.
I think there is a constant growth and strength in this process, Becky. Looking in the mirror, evaluating and recognizing changes is part of that growth. No one knows what an individual who has gone through such a considerable transformation feels like unless they have gone through it. As much as those mirrors shout back the reality of our experience they can also help us see and except the changes as they happen.