I have a cold
I have a cold. This is the first full blown in my chest, sinus full of cotton balls, cold I’ve had in a long time. In many ways I’m lucky. I’m lucky that I managed to get through chemotherapy and my surgeries without getting sick. If I had this cold during chemotherapy it would have been horrible, and may very well have led to a hospital visit. Fortunately, that did not happen. In some ways, I think my body knew that it couldn’t afford to get sick then, and suddenly, it can now.
Interestingly, my anxiety levels are way down. This cold feels like a familiar cold. It doesn’t have feelings that remind me of cancer treatment or metastatic disease. The only fear I have with this cold is that I’ll get it every time I try to exercise, or that it will linger on-and-on preventing me from getting back on the bike or back in the pool (this has the effect of making my depression scores higher). Next weekend is Casting for Recovery – the fly fishing retreat that I was selected to participate in. I do not want to be sick for it!
And so, I’m trying to take it easy. I’m mostly reading and watching TV. I’m trying to drink lots of warm herbal tea. I’ll try and get out for a walk later today if it isn’t raining (yes, it is forecast to actually rain here for the next 3-days). It’s a little cooler outside than it has been lately. This morning, I didn’t go to the market because it was only 12 degrees C outside. I’ve become a wimp, but I’m using the cold as an excuse. I don’t need to go out in the cold or the wet. I need to feel better.