My bald head
There are times when I find myself wanting to cover my head in something stylish – and I like looking good. There are times when I run out to take out the garbage and I cover my head so as not to scare or make uncomfortable anyone who I might happen to cross paths with in the corridors of the condo.
Today, when I was out sailing, I mostly wore a buff and my Tilley hat.
I usually wear my Tilley hat sailing, so anyone who has seen me before would not notice any difference. There was a brief moment when I took my hat off for a picture – cause I really wanted a picture with the waves and my bald head – mostly for posterity. But I also wanted to feel the wind on my head. At this point, it was easier to put my buff and hat back on, as I needed my hands to hold onto the boat!
But, towards the end of the sail, when it was a little less windy and cold, I found myself wanting (craving) to talk off my hat so I could experience the feeling of the wind on my skull. I love the feel of the wind on my bare head. But I didn’t. I was afraid of how the people around me would react. I was not afraid of showing my bare head, but I didn’t want to make others feel uncomfortable.
When in the car, I often strip off my head scarf. It is either too hot, and I want to cool down, or I’m on a slower road and I want to drive with the windows down. Again, that feeling of breeze on my bare skull is delightful. When I’m in the car, I’m not worried about how my baldness might make others feel (even when stopped at intersections). I’m conscious about it, but not worried about it.
When I had a shaved head, I didn’t worry about it. I often went out without covering up. But now, my head is patchy. It is mostly bald, but still has some patchy bits of hair. Sometimes when I swim, I don’t worry about it and just go bare. Last time I swam, I wore my swim cap. I was OK with changing from my buff to my swim cap at the pool, and I even used the pool shower and exposed my naked head (but found myself hoping that when someone walked by that they didn’t look my way). But I didn’t walk to or from the pool with a bare head.
So I’m of mixed feelings right now. There are times when I want to look fashionable that I am happy to have my head covered in a pretty scarf/buff/whatever. It is a part of the outfit and actually dresses up what I’m wearing. However, there are times when, I would rather not bother covering up. Although, from a practicality perspective, I do need to concern myself with sun protection. My bare head cannot go out in the sun for any length of time, but it certainly craves being exposed for short periods of time (and I do hate wearing a buff under my bike helmet, but I need the sun protection).
So I wonder, how much should I worry about what other people might think? Do I worry about the discussions parents might need to have with their children after seeing me? Is that something that I should even care about?
- Becky
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Don’t worry about other peoples reactions. When you show your baldness, you are educating people. The very least you are stimulating dialogue . Don’t really notice your bald ness with your beautiful smile.
Love you
Mom
You look beautiful Becky,you really,and I’m not kidding can pull it off and look amazing !!
I don’t think you need to worry at all what people are thinking. You might get some weird looks or people staring at you. If you can put up with that then don’t be shy!
Thanks Sharon. I’m not too worried about being stared at .. I ride a recumbent after all – so I’m pretty used to kids and adults giving me puzzled looks …
i just told the kids that the puffin had arrived, and wanted to show them recent pictures of you so they could make the connection to the person we’d written to. Posey liked this picture and asked about your head – i was glad to explain, as i don’t think she’d really understood before. now, if and when we run across someone in our community with an unexpected bald head – especially a woman or another child – she will understand, and be more likely to be able to respond with compassion rather than confusion. that’s a good thing, i think.
it is hard to be “that person” in the public eye, though – whatever “that” is. to publicly live with an identity that brings out compassion but also fear and pity in others is no joke. courage to you, whatever you decide you’re comfortable with on any given day.
I have scars on my arms. Back when they were more obvious, there were days when I could deal with people looking, staring, reacting, and there were days when I just needed to not have to deal. I also wanted to be careful about sun exposure so they would fade as much as possible. I don’t think you need to worry about reactions, or conversations parents might have with their children but if you find that you do worry one day, or if you don’t want to feel like people might stare (whether or not they do), you can cover up for your peace of mind, or you can think up ways to answer children’s questions ahead of time if feeling prepared is what you need for your reassurance.
I don’t think there’s a wrong way to feel on this!