Never thought I'd want to be a breast cancer survivor
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California 2024 – Hiking
Read more: California 2024 – HikingI’ve been in California for the last few days. I had great aspirations of hiking the day I arrived, but I was so tired. I hadn’t slept well the night before, then needed to be at the airport for 3:45 a.m. and then didn’t sleep well on either flights, and throw in a 4 hour…
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Forgiving my body again
Read more: Forgiving my body againBack in February 2016, I wrote a blog post about forgiving my body. I just re-read it and it still resonates with me. At a recent writing workshop, I reflected again on forgiving my body. Here is what I wrote: I had forgiven my body for the cancer that grew it – for it trying…
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Accomplishment versus joy
Read more: Accomplishment versus joyMy therapist asked me, how much time I spend on “accomplishments” rather than joy. I have been so focused on “doing things” that made me feel like I had accomplished something, that I wasn’t spending any time focusing on things that bring me joy. She encouraged me to try setting up my days so that…
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Can I call myself a writer …
Read more: Can I call myself a writer …if I don’t write? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. I’ve been reading Wil Wheaton‘s book “Still just a geek”. It has reminded me to write more regularly, but it has also encouraged me to work more on my next books (I have two in the works). His writing encouraged me because I’m…
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Halfway
Read more: HalfwayI am halfway through my trastuzumab (Herceptin) a type of targeted therapy drug called a monoclonal antibody. This is the magic drug that kills HER2 breast cancer. I am due to take 18 doses, 3-weeks apart. That works out to a full year. Since I just completed 9 of 18, I will be doing this…
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Not growing old
Read more: Not growing oldIf you were here you would notice that I’m constantly doing something. Even when my body is hurting, I find something to do. Until I enter a drug induced sleep at night, my mind and my body are doing something. I feel like I always need to be doing something. It occurred to me today,…
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Then and now
Read more: Then and nowI have been diagnosed with breast cancer twice. In 2014, we had just moved to California. We had no support network. It was just my husband and myself. This time, we live in a cohousing community and have support from my neighbours. In 2014, we lived in the South Bay Area near San Jose. This…
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Physically, I’m doing well – Mentally, not so much
Read more: Physically, I’m doing well – Mentally, not so muchI wasn’t sure what to write about anxiety. It is really difficult to explain. For me, it becomes a compulsion to be doing something, which is why I’ve had a hard time taking a rest. I feel like I need to be doing something all the time, otherwise I’ll spiral down. If I can keep…
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From Fatigue to Fear: The Unseen Battles of Post-Treatment Life
Read more: From Fatigue to Fear: The Unseen Battles of Post-Treatment LifeWith the end of active treatment comes the anxiety and depression that I have been suppressing throughout. The fatigue from radiation has me worried about depression. The nightmares make me concerned about PTSD, and the crying, well, that is the only way I can cope right now. I was reminded of a concept I learned…
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And then there was one
Read more: And then there was oneTomorrow will be my last radiation treatment – yay. So far I’ve managed without too much skin irritation (yay again). The doctor did mention that things could get worse or better over the next couple of weeks, but within a month I should be fully recovered skin wise as well as internally, which affects fatigue.…
