BC Becky

Never thought I'd want to be a breast cancer survivor

Tag: walking

  • Feeling strong

    I am surprised by how all of sudden my strength returns. Where only a week ago I could only swim 7 laps in the pool, I’m now swimming 30 and the only reason I stopped was because I had too many other errands to do.

    It seems that with each AC cycle the down days after neulasta are longer, but when my strength does return, I’m stronger than I’ve been before. In cycle three, I walked farther (10km on day 2), cycled farther (36km on day 10), and swam farther (we actually I swam this distance in cycle 2 as well 1200m) – than I had before chemo started.

    As I’ve discussed in my last post, I’m also struggling with increasing signs of depression – worsening with each cycle. This in part is related to not have access to my coping mechanisms (exercise) for the longer stretches each cycle. In part because the reality of having breast cancer is sinking in (denial is becoming less and less active in my brain), and a lack of knowing what will come next. Relating to exercise, each added day when I cannot get in a long workout, my stress and anxiety build. I’ll be working with the folks at onc-pysch on developing additional coping strategies, but will also be changing some medications to something new, where the side effects are actual effects that align well with counter-acting the effects of chemo (drowsiness, anti-neasea, and increase appetite). The new meds should also help deal with some of the ‘chemo-pause’ side effects (night hot flashes). We shall see how it all works – but for the next two or three days, I should be feeling strong – and will try to enjoy it while it lasts.

    When I was up at Stanford yesterday, I visited my tree. I wish pictures could capture the scent of the eucalyptus.
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    I’m not nearly as good at taking pictures near myself near the tree – but here I am sporting the new cap Maha sent me from Egypt 🙂

     

     

  • So I did it, but I need your help

    So, I did it, I signed myself up for the Avon Walk. This is a fundraising event that involves walking 39.3 miles over two days. The first day you walk a marathon, and the second day you walk a half marathon. The walk takes place through the city streets – in my case, it will be through the streets of San Francisco. As this is a fundraising walk, I need your help. In order to participate I need to raise at least $1800. So, I’m asking for your help. My fundraising page is:  http://info.avonfoundation.org/goto/rjhogue. I may seem like a cliche statement, but every little bit helps.

    I really debated signing up for the walk. I don’t generally like these large fundraiser event type things – but I was motivated by several things. First, one of the ladies in one of my support groups spoke very highly of it. She said she found a lot of encouragement in the crowds that gathered to cheer them on. It as an emotional but very uplifting experience, and that takes on a whole new meaning when you are walking as a warrior/survivor.

    I looked into where the money went. I’m lucky to be located near Stanford, a center for excellence in breast cancer treatment. It is where a lot of the clinical trials happen. It is one of the few universities in the US that set the standards of treatment for the rest of the country. But I’ve also been lucky to be near Bay Area Women’s Cancer Connections (BCC), an organization that has provided me with a lot of support. There are lots of free resources that have been made available to me. I’m also very aware of a lot of women who are cancer poor. Women who have to make treatment decision based upon their finances. And I don’t even see the women who don’t get screening done or who have very limited access to healthcare. It is a real problem here – and so events like the Avon Walk providing funding for research, they also provide resources for women who could not otherwise afford them.

    The final reason I decided to do it (other than the cool opportunity to see San Francisco) was the timing of the walk itself. I’ve started to look beyond treatment – I’m making the move to look ahead in my life. The walk will come at a time when I should have completed the major treatment phases of breast cancer (chemo and surgery). There is some hope that after surgery I get declared “NED” (no evidence of disease). The treatment doesn’t stop there, as I’ll be on hormone blocking medications for 10-years – but I should be disease free. As such, the walk will mark a transition – from warrior to survivor – and that is something significant and should be celebrated.

    As I write this, it is day three of my third chemo cycle. I had a great visit with a friend today which did a good job of distracting me from how awful I feel on day 3. Last cycle I also felt awful on day 4, so I have a reiki appointment which will hopefully fill me with healing energy and get me through this cycle. I’m truly hoping that the cumulative effect doesn’t mean I feel awful on day 5! Only one more cycle of AC to go (yay) – and my oncologist promises that T will be better! Going out today gave me an excuse to dress up and try out the stylin’ new hat and earrings my mom sent! I am amused at how much I like to dress up when I go out now – that is so not like the old me.

    We are going camping on Saturday night. We have not been camping yet this summer – which is so unlike us. Having a temporary disability permit has been a life saver for me. It has meant that I can run errands even when my energy is low, but it also means we can go camping this weekend. The California State parks set aside certain sites that can only be used by someone with a placard. So even if all the other sites are full, no one else is permitted to use them. This meant that when I was looking for a site on Monday, there was one still available for Saturday. It is a real savior to be able to go camping at the last minute, as there was no way we could have planned in advance how I would be feeling. Honestly, I’m not 100% certain I’ll actually be up for it – but I figure, if nothing else I can spend an afternoon reading a book in my camp chair surrounded by ancient trees – sounds pretty peaceful to me!

     

  • Picturing a walk

    Yesterday we went for a 6km walk along the Guadeloupe trail which runs just behind our condo complex.

    For the first part of the walk, I took the lower path hoping to get better pictures of the birds.

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    Unfortunately, the grasses along the river grow so tall that I couldn’t actually see the river through the grass in most places. What I did notice was that sounds were more isolated, so I could hear the song birds a lot more. It was low tide, so the ‘river’ which is rather brackish at this point was mostly mud flats.

    I did catch a glimpse of the egret who appears to be rather timid. As I got close, he decided to fly up into a tree.

    While Scott and I were both on the lower path, he stayed up in the tree, posing for us.

    We did manage to catch him a little later down in the water.

    On the way back we walked along the upper path.

    And thought this sign was particularly well designed.

    The end 🙂

     

  • Revising my stretch goals

    When the oncologist told me not to wait to have surgery – that I should plan to have surgery 2-4 week after chemo. His words were “don’t waste the chemo by waiting”, I had to make a choice – triathlon after chemo or Hawaii. It was a pretty easy choice. The triathlon was proving to be challenging, as I wasn’t finding any newbie friendly events. So, I revised my plan.

    One of the ladies at one of my support groups had walked in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. She was very inspired by the experience. I have known others who have done similar walk’s in Ottawa (known as the Weekend to End Women’s Cancers). I wasn’t so sure about the whole idea. Does the money go someplace useful? In looking into here, the answer is actually yes. Without socialized medicine, much of the money goes to provide programs for women who otherwise would not afford screening or whose treatment options would be limited by their finances rather than their choice. I am lucky, in that when I was diagnosed, we were in a good financial position, but also we have decent medical insurance. As much as we fight occasionally to get prescriptions covered, I’ve never had to make a treatment decision based upon finances. I am very lucky, and many other women are not. So, I’ve been seriously considering the Avon Walk … so much so that I will probably sign up this weekend! I’m just waiting for some answers to questions relating to international donations.

    The next Avon Walk in San Francisco is July 11-12, 2015. The other coolness factor about this is just walking around San Francisco. The walk will necessary involve crossing the Golden Gate bridge at least once. Last year’s walk involved walking through Sausalito – which always reminds me of Starfleet Academy as well as walking through several interesting areas of San Francisco! For me, this event will come at a time of transition. I will be transitioning from ‘in-treatment’ to ‘survivorship’. The walk provides a great symbolic activity, and I can visualize myself walking through the finish line as if it were a bridging ceremony marking the end of treatment and all the healing from the trauma associated with treatment, to begin my life as a breast cancer survivor.

    To help me start training for the walk, I’ve set a new post-chemo stretch goal of being able to do the hike down from the summit of Haleakalā on Maui. The hiking trail is 18.1km. That is double the furthest distance I’ve ever walked. It also involves altitude, so I will need to get in some altitude training.

    Screen Shot 2014-08-01 at 21.58.21To help with the altitude training, we have booked our anniversary weekend (September 28) trip up to Yosemite National Park. Yosemite has some nice high altitude hiking trails, so I should be able to test out my abilities for hiking at altitude that weekend. It should also be a lot nicer weather in the fall – as Yosemite in the summer is darn hot! We may do an additional Yosemite trip (or Tahoe) to celebrate the end of chemo (November 17) with one more weekend of higher altitude hikes before we go to Hawaii. We shall see. It seems like a lot of time away, but awesome healing time, spent largely in the wilderness, so definitely worth it 🙂

    So there you go, my new stretch goals. Right now, I feel that they are very achievable!

     

  • Early morning walks

    One advantage to being wide awake at 5am is the ability to go out for a walk before the sun rises. Early morning walks mean I don’t need to cover my head or arms – I can walk and enjoy the feel of the light breeze against my skin.

    This morning, I walked with Scott along my favourite part of the Guadeloupe trail, which runs right behind our apartment. About 1.5 km from our apartment, there is a pair of lovely white birds (some kind of crane, I believe they are egrets). They must be nesting in the area, as I’ve seen them almost every time I ride or walk along the path. I like to walk or ride to visit ‘my birds’ in the morning. There is also another large bird that we were not able to identify – perhaps a great blue heron.  It’s colours are such that it would be very difficult to get a picture, as it almost blends into the background. I’ve seen it fly along the river on one of my bike rides. This morning, it was nice to share the experience with Scott (I’m usually biking or walking alone).Photo Jul 27, 6 54 24 AM

    With the overcast sky and cool breeze I found myself enjoying the wind on my arms. I’d hold my arms up in the air, reminding me of cormorants by the sea holding out their wings to warm them up after a deep dive.  At that hour, we had the path mostly to ourselves. There were a few joggers that passed us, smiling, or nodding. No one seem to notice (or care) that I was lacking hair!

    Photo Jul 27, 6 54 40 AM

     

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