BC Becky

Never thought I'd want to be a breast cancer survivor

Tag: biopsy

  • Day 3 is just plain hard

    Today is day 3 and it is a hard day. It was a hard day last cycle too. I am thankful that there will only be two more cycles of AC and that means only two more day threes.

    Why is day three so hard? The neulasta pains are crazy. It isn’t a new kind of muscle pain – pain from the inside out. It hurts to swallow but it isn’t a sore throat. It is the muscles around the throat and the neck that all just plain hurt. And this makes me feel sad.

    I walked this morning, and I even biked a short bit this afternoon, but that didn’t seem to prevent the pains – although it was nice to get out – it is also very hot outside today – so I am thankful that we have central air!  But it is still hard. It is a day a sleep a lot and watch TV a lot …

    The biopsy on Monday means I couldn’t swim today, so I missed my magical afternoon swimming with my clothing on. I will not allow anything to disrupt that routine next cycle as I think it is one of the things that helps me get through it. I’d also like to do Reiki on day 3, but my Reiki healer is away this week, so I don’t see her until Tuesday. Hopefully, she will be in next cycle.

    So, now I know, day 3 is hard, but it is just one day … tomorrow will be better.

    The good news today is that we finally got some of the scheduling figured out. There was a mix up on the schedule for chemo, so they had the wrong type listed for the second round. So, now I know my last infusion date is set for November 17th.  So, surgery will be either December 10 or December 17 (I need to decide which date to have them hold). So, Hawaii will be the week of December 1st … something to look forward to …

  • Seriousness is sinking in

    I’m starting to shed my hair. I noticed at first when I use the toilet, and then again when I dried my hair after the shower – seeing enough bits of hair in the towel that I had to throw it in the wash!

    At Wednesday’s oncologist appointment, when I asked about surgery timing, specifying my desire to spend a week in Hawaii before surgery, the point was made not to push it too late. There is enough time for that week, but I should not plan on pushing surgery out 2-3 months. The comment was in the lines of “we’ve done all this chemo, don’t waste it”. This cancer won’t be killed that easily – even if the masses shrink to smaller sizes they need to be removed.

    Yesterday, I got a short synopsis of the pathology of the third mass (the small one in my left breast). It is DCIS PR/HR+,HER2- with a small Ki-67 (<5%). This is sometimes called pre-cancerous or cancer in the duct itself, as it has not yet spread to the surrounding breast tissue. DCIS has a high likelihood of turning into IDC (which my other two masses are). So this is my magic number three cancer.

    I say magic number three because that seems to be my meditation number. When I took swimming lessons last fall, the instructor has me breath after every three strokes. Ever since then, three seemed to be a better number for me for meditating. When I do yoga, I hold poses for three breaths, and when I try to calm my nerves to sleep I count my breathes 1-2-3 and then repeat. So three seems to be my number.

    So, now that I have three cancers, it can stop there! No need to go any further!

    My plan for a triathlon before surgery will likely need to be reschedule until after surgery. The window won’t be long enough for me to manage it and Hawaii at the same time – and Hawaii is definitely something I plan to do (Maui more specifically – easy to get to from here and an easy island to get around).

    I do, however, have a new plan for after surgery. One of the wonderful ladies on the Flat and Fabulous Facebook group has inspired me to aim to trapeze at Club Med Cancun in the fall of 2015. I want to be fully recovered from surgery such that I can do something so crazy as swing from a trapeze – plus they have sailing and kayaking too … some nice serious activities that require upper body strength.

    I am finding this process of hurdles not dissimilar to doing a PhD. At each phase there are additional hurdles to overcome. One bit of advice we are given in the PhD is to celebrate each hurdle as you complete it. My first hurdle is AC chemo. I’ve done two treatments, so one could say 1/2 way, but that would not be fair … as I still need to recover from this second treatment before I can truthfully call it done!

    I am happy that I am starting to get some productive days back. My life isn’t all about cancer anymore. I am re-emerging into my academic life, trying to pull together as much as I can to make a dissertation out of my existing thesis project. I have a couple of things that need to happen in the fall that hopefully I can make happen. If they do, then I shall have enough data to turn it into something. I have learned a lot, and do have a lot to share – I just need close it off and put it all together.

    So with the seriousness of this disease sinking in, what is also sinking in is my need to focus on the future – and on what comes afterwards (or at least what I’m going to do with the next year and a half that doesn’t involve chemo and cancer surgery).

  • 2nd Round of Chemo

    Today was my second round of chemo. It was actually much less traumatic than I expected it to be. It really helped that someone in the BC Connections Facebook group commented that her second round went a lot better than the first – so rather than hearing horror stories about the second round, I am hopeful that things will run a little smoother now that I understand some of the side effects that I can expect. The pains may still come, but they won’t be new, and there are things that I can do in advance of the pain to hopefully prevent it.

    Since chemo is a pretty ridiculous idea, I went for a ridiculous outfit! And of course we also needed the team selfie with our matching haircuts 🙂

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    Photo Jul 23, 2 05 05 PM

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    This cycle will be 13 days rather than 14, as my oncologist wants to move me back onto the ‘normal’ schedule of Monday’s. There was no way I would be ready for chemo on day 12, so day 13 will need to do. I was kind of hoping that we would actually push it out again so I had a few more days of recovery. Oh well.

    The oncologist was also encouraged by the treatment so far. Based on his exam and his notes, he seems to think that my tumor in softer than it was – which is good (means the chemo is working). Unfortunately, the biopsy results on the third mass were not in yet, so I don’t know about that one yet. I did, however, find out that surgery should be planned for 2-4 weeks post chemo – and that it should not be delayed. This means that my Hawaii trip (see Breast Memorial) will be either the week of American Thanksgiving or the following week – with surgery the week we get back from Hawaii. I will book a follow-up appointment with the surgeon in the next week or so, so that we can get a date for surgery. Apparently, things fill up towards the end of the year. One advantage to doing it this year is that it will cost us less, as all our “out of pocket” maximums reset on January 1st.

    To avoid confusion – as I kept confusing myself – chemo day is now day 1 not day 0 – this aligns with the days that the doctors use as well. I’ve started a new chart for this cycle (adding in my exercise as well). So far it has the preventative stuff on it. One bit of good news is that I can take my arthritis NSAID anytime, they just don’t want me to take aspirin. Since the arthritis meds also significantly reduce the Neulasta side effects, this is huge for me, as it really helps. The oncologist recommended taking it preventatively, so I’ve added it to my chart as a reminder.

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  • Variable days

    I’m finding that my days are rather variable. If you ask me mid-day if it is a good day, I will likely have a different option than in the morning or in the evening.

    Sunday is a good example. I woke up early, unable to sleep. I wrote a blog post, but then I found myself feeling tired and generally not feeling great. So I decided a needed to climb back into bed. I decided to cancel sailing because I just could not image driving to San Fran, sailing for 2.5 hours, and driving back. It was more than I could mentally handle.

    After another 2 hours sleep, I awoke with a crazy headache, took Tylenol and had a cup of coffee. That inspired another ’bout of writing. I wrote several blog posts on Sunday! Feeling energetic, I went for a bike ride – 31 km on my road bike – to be fair, my road bike is my easiest bike to ride, so 31 km on my ‘bent is not the same as 31 km on my road bike – but still, it was a solid 90 minutes of riding. It felt great to be back at my pre-chemo strength. That evening we even walked over to the bank (6.5 km) – more than I thought I’d be able to do when we set out (I figured I’d turn around part way).

    So, looking at the morning would not have provided insight into just how my day would go. I’m finding this to be a bit of a trend. I can never tell how well the day will go.

    This morning started with an MRI guided biopsy of the small mass in my left breast. This was not 100% necessary, but recommended in order to allow maximum flexibility when it comes to surgery. I also just want to know. I feel like three is my number – it is the number I use to meditate, the number of strokes I count when I swim, the number of bikes I have – it resonates with me.  I have three masses in my breasts, two have proven to be cancer. I want to know if the third is also cancer, and if the third is the same kind of cancer. If it is, it just means that something when crazy in my body and spontaneously cancer grew – it is not a sign of spread – as with this type of cancer, it is each one growing at the about the same time.

    After my last MRI experience (weird machine), I knew a lot more about what to expect. I asked for things to help make myself more comfortable during the procedure. I took a Lorazepam just before the procedure, so I was mostly dopy and sleepy throughout – much better than being stressed and claustrophobic – although this MRI machine was different – it was much bigger and had open sides. They get you positioned, put you in for a scan, roll you out, put in the needle based on the images, roll you back in and scan to make sure the needle is in the right place, roll you out to do the biopsy, move the need for the marker, roll you in to check that things are in the right place, put in the marker (a little piece of metal in the shape of a M), then roll you in again for one last image of the marker placement. Then after they bandage you up, they ship you over to mammography for a gentle mammogram of the marker – as a baseline reference.

    I requested all the images back when I requested the original MRI images, so I should receive them in the mail sometime in the next couple of weeks.

    I found myself so tired on the drive home (after we stopped for lunch) that I actually slept in the car. When I got home, I slithered into bed and promptly slept for 3.5 hours. I guess I needed that.

    This evening I’m feeling good. No real pain from the biopsy. Even managed to get some work done. Tomorrow is chemo prep day – so need to get to bed soon so that I am well rested for the various errands that need to be run prior to chemo and the following less productive days. Unfortunately, the biopsy means no strenuous activity for 3 days and no swimming for a week. We shall re-visit that with the oncologist on Wednesday, as I will really really really want to be in the pool on Friday if I have the same reaction to neulasta. I got the OK on sauna use from the MRI doctor (radiologist) who also said if things are healing well I may be OK for the pool on Friday (one week is the party line but not everyone needs the full week). So cycle two won’t align with my ideal exercise plans, but we shall go with what the body wants/needs at any given time. It is what it is.

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