BC Becky

Never thought I'd want to be a breast cancer survivor

Tag: advice

  • Lupron woes

    Lupron woes

    I’m coming to the end of my three month cycle with lupron. That is, every three months I get an injection of lupron to suppress my ovaries. This is part of my cancer treatment – hormone therapy. What I am finding is that as I come to the end of the cycle I get really moody. I get really sad, but also get frustrated really easily, and I find myself yelling at idiot drivers when I’m in the car. I am self-aware enough to see these things happening – to know that it is not my body in a normal state.

    I checked in with one of my support groups to learn that this is not an uncommon phenomena. It is something that annoyingly, doctors dismiss as if it is all in our heads. In many ways, all we need from our doctors is recognition/validation that the symptoms we are experiencing are normal. A simple, that sucks, I’m sorry to hear it but there isn’t much we can do about it would work. Not a blank stare and comment about having not heard of that happening before .. because really, it happens. When doctors don’t acknowledge the issue, patients stop reporting side effects. It is known as learned helplessness. If you appear to not care about the experience, then we will stop telling you about it. But this is not a healthy doctor-patient relationship. In a healthy relationship these things get acknowledged.

    Anyways, I’m writing this in part because I’m moody as hell so if you interact with me in the next two weeks you may notice that I’m a little on the crazy side. I’m also writing this because some of my readers are also on lupron. I want to validate for them that these feelings of moodiness are a normal side effect. I have not been that careful of ensuring I get the lupron exactly on time – that is I usually get it a week or two late. My oncologist tells me that is ok – however, if these mood swings are going to be the norm in that period of time then I’m going to be more careful about getting the shot exactly on time. Because the sadness in particular sucks. It drains me. It makes it difficult for me to concentrate and get work done. I really don’t need two weeks of it!

    Feature image: By Fvasconcellos – Own work, Public Domain, Link

  • Breast cancer pet peeve – it is not a “lump” (public service announcement)

    My breast cancer pet peeve of the day is the word “lump” … cause, well, it doesn’t FEEL like a lump! The word lump actually is misleading and causes too many women to NOT get something checked out. It is part of why I waited a week (fortunately, I only waited a week).

    So, first and foremost – get to know YOUR breasts. I checked mine every time I got in the shower. I suds up with soap and feel around and inspect. I also look at myself in the mirror and look down when I dry myself off. So, when something changed, I noticed!

    Many women have lumpy breasts. Some of the normal tissue in your breast feels lumpy. It isn’t the normal lumpiness that is the problem – it is the change that is problem. The first I heard of nipple retraction was AFTER I was diagnosed. What I noticed was a hard spot – an area that felt firmer than normal – which I initially associated with what I thought might be a muscle strain, but when it didn’t away I got it checked out.

    Screen Shot 2014-07-20 at 12.54.15

     

    Above is a MRI image of my left breast. It shows the two masses. The upper is a known malignancy – this is the one I felt and it is my largest mass (depending on the scan measuring somewhere between 3 and 4.7 cm in its widest dimension – MRI measured it smaller than ultrasound but they won’t really know until they take it out and do a full biopsy on it). It is not a regular shape – it is not this nice round “lump” – rather it is an irregularly shaped mass (it doesn’t look 3 cm in this angle, they measure it in three dimensions based upon the largest size). The bottom mass shows up on MRI only (I’m getting it biopsied tomorrow) – it is suspected to be cancer only because I already have a known malignancy. The point I wanted to make on this picture was the irregular shape of my breast. I can visually see when I look in the mirror, while looking down that my left breast isn’t smoothly curved. This is a sign that something is WRONG!

    BTW –  I think it is way cool that I can just sign a form and they mail me CDs with all the images from scans that have been taken. I find the MRI images particularly interesting. I get a full copy of the radiologist’s report, so I know which images are most interesting (there are 15,000 images from a standard diagnostic MRI).

    So, if you don’t do annual mammograms (and even if you do), it doesn’t hurt to just ‘cop a feel’ and check out your breast EVERY time you hop in the shower …

    OK… done with the public service announcement for the day. Time for a bike ride!

  • A pre-treatment trip

    One of the bits of advice I received was to try and get away before you start treatment. Both Scott and I needed a couple of days to enjoy ourselves and enjoy nature. Since we already had plans to head up to Yosemite, we decide that we would modify our plans slightly and still go up. We left early on Tuesday morning and spent the night at the historic Wawona Hotel. This allowed us to spend two days hiking and biking around Yosemite.

    On the drive up, we stopped briefly at the Don Pedro Reservoir. It reminded me very much of the Dead Sea from our Going East adventure. I’m finding that a lot of things are reminding me of various aspects of our Going East adventure.

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    My favourite selfie of the trip. The giant sequoia in the background had branches that were 7 feet thick – thicker than any non-sequoia tree in the park. It was amazing to see. I was also struck but how different the sequoias are from the giant redwoods in Big Basin.

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    We took a lot of photos, so I’ve put them in a gallery for anyone interested in seeing them.

    We now have a few days to prep the apartment, go sailing, and biking before chemo starts on Monday. I’m feeling ready for it now – much more ready than I was even a few days ago.

  • They say …

    not to read too much on the Internet, and yet it is the internet that is helping ensure I am better prepared for chemo. There are a few things no one mentioned to me, that I’m now finding out:

    • You should go to the dentist and get your teeth cleaned prior to chemo. You should not have teeth cleaning during chemo as there is a risk of infection, but also chemo can cause mouth sores, which makes a dental cleaning that much more difficult. So, I found a dentist and had my teeth cleaned last week.
    • I’m now seeing that I might need a shingles vaccine. I think this is a live vaccine, so cannot be given during chemo. I might already be too late (t minus 1 week).

    I have no idea what else I’m missing … but the best bit of advice I’ve had so far is to take some time off before going into treatment. We are still planning to head up to Yosemite on Monday after my ultrasound – but we are opting for a hotel rather than a campsite. I need to know that I have access to showers, so my port incisions don’t get infected. Although it is not the same as camping, it will still be nice to spend some time hiking and meditating in nature.

  • Should I blog?

    As a blogger, I often get asked ‘should I blog?’  I can testify as to why I blog and the benefits that blogging provides for me, but I also don’t think that blogging is for everyone. Blogging is work. Even with inspiration a single blog post can take 1-2 hours to write. If you aren’t a writer, then the act of blogging can be difficult (heck, even if you are a writer it can be difficult).

    One of the benefits of blogging versus writing for other mediums is that you have complete flexibility. You don’t have a requirement to write every day or every week. You can write whenever you are inspired. That being said, if you don’t write regularly, then your readership will fall off – people will worry about you – because they use your blog as a way to gauge how you are doing.

    As a cancer blogger, one of the benefits I’ve experienced is that I only need to write things once. Anyone who cares about it can choose to read my updates. There is no need for people to read every detail of my experience, but those who want to know the details can choose to read about it on my blog. I don’t have to type endless emails with the same information.

    If you aren’t typically a public person, there are private blogging options. You can create a private blog on WordPress or Blogger, where only those you invite can see it. A better choice might be Caring Bridge. Caring Bridge let’s you setup a website where you post updates but it provides a way to coordinate what you need. You give access to your friends and family and they can use that as a way to figure out how to help you. I may yet need to set this up, as I go into chemo – we may need local help with food – not sure yet as I don’t understand the implications of chemo. I usually prepare the meals – but does chemo mean that I cannot cook for Scott for the first 48-hours? I don’t know yet. It isn’t just about a desire to not cook, there is a real health concern regarding passing on the chemo drugs to your care givers.

    So when people ask me ‘should I blog?’ I first tell them to think really hard about it. How public do they want to be? How much do they like writing? Why do they want to blog? And then I offer to help – if you want to blog, I’m happy to help you get started. It is the least that I could do!

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