Getting ‘dressed’
I hate changing my dressings. At the moment, I am required to do it three times a day. The breast dressing is no big deal. It is a matter of ensuring that it is adequately moist – so adding a little ointment and slapping on a new patch of xeroform. The stomach dressing, well that is a whole other thing.
As I mentioned previous post, I have a hole in my belly. I have an appointment on Thursday afternoon where I am hoping to have a SnAP negative pressure wound system installed. Once it it is in place, I won’t be changing my belly dressings. They would get changed twice a week at the Stanford Would Care center by someone who knows that they are doing. Until then, I need to pack damp/wet gauze into the wound three times a day. I don’t mind the packing, I just hate the unpacking. I remove the gauze which is a particular shade of blue and red (http://dttocs.smugmug.com/photos/i-JxKRZJz/0/M/i-JxKRZJz-M.jpg), and has a smell that I have come to dislike. It isn’t infected. It is all “normal”. What gets removed with the gauze when I change the dressing promotes healing (at least that is what I’m told), but I still hate doing it. I’m so looking forward to not needing to!
So this morning I’m delaying. I’m catching up on email, watching videos of all the crazy snow in Kitimat (the town were I grew up), drinking coffee, and writing this blog post instead of doing my dressing change.
OK, time to end the procrastination and get ‘dressed’.
- Becky
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Becky,
I can relate. It brings back uncomfortable memories. I had a little cyst that grew after my initial healing after it was lanced and opened up it looked like a little bullet hole right in my cleavage area. To this day I have a little scar. At time of occurrence it was the only place I had feeling and packing that little wound was painful. But honestly it was also symbolic. I was in transition adjusting to my new body and especially my new mind after breast cancer. I was in a little bit of physical and emotional pain but I was also numb or in survival mode. I would call it a little bit of post traumatic stress. I felt incredible love for my kids and my husband but also little tolerance for others judgement or ignorance. Having breast cancer really sucked and sometimes others were condescending and just plain clueless. They might have done things differently and they had other answers and too many suggestions. Having a hole in your stomach is difficult, uncomfortable and awkward. I applaud your honesty and candidness. I appreciate your willingness to share right where you are. Thank you for sharing your intimate journey it is still helping me process mine.