BC Becky

Never thought I'd want to be a breast cancer survivor

A new visualization

Written by

Becky

in

,

Didn’t sleep well last night and I’m feeling like I’m not get in enough biking, so decided to go back to bed and then go for a bike ride this afternoon.

Sleeping, I had this crazy dream. I was in my parents back yard (except it was a lot more elaborate with a tiered swimming pool. The yard (as well as the one across the path – interesting the path was like the back yard in Kitimat) both had kids drinking, doing drugs, and swimming in the pools. It was a wild party (for some reason the gates were low chain link and they didn’t have locked doors). I came down and started yelling: GET OUT, GET the F*$K OUT, going from person to person. They were being difficult, moving along slowly, but I kept yelling. I went to use the phone, which looked more like an ear cleaning syringe thing (see image):

Only I talked to the bulb end and said “call 911” and put the other end in my ear. I got a message (sort of like Siri) saying “sorry we cannot help you right now, we are busy doing something else” … I screamed … and then I woke up.

It had me thinking, the pool is sort of like a metaphor for my body, and the uninvited guests partying and making a mess of the pool and yard are like cancer … and I was screaming “GET OUT, GET the F*$K OUT” …

It might prove to be an interesting visualization during my next chemo treatment … not exactly little pacmen going about chomping on cancer cells (although that worked conceptually, I didn’t really buy into it) … not completely sure how this visualization would work …

We’ll see, either way, it felt good to yell, even if it was just in a dream …

and now for a cup of coffee!

 

Comments

3 responses to “A new visualization”

  1. Sharon Emanuel

    Neat dream. I’ve been thinking about you and your sauna. Do you have it in storage? This is a time when you could really use it to detox.

    Reply
    1. Becky

      The sauna is actually setup in our spare room (although full of boxes). I might try it out at some point, but hydration is a challenge at the best of times. I need to be drinking a lot – and the sauna would add a fair bit to that. That and it has been rather warm outside so it is difficult to think of sauna’ing when it is 30 degrees outside. That being said, if I’m on a day that I don’t have sores and I’m feeling fatigued or skin aches (maybe day 3 or 4) then a sauna might be just the right thing to try. I shall research it a little further, thanks for the idea!

      Reply
  2. Scott Johnson

    Hi Rebecca, my Dad (commercial artist) had one of those ear cleaning syringes he used for blowing those soft eraser squiggles and scraps off his charcoal drawings. It blew away the debris while neither smearing, smudging or otherwise wrecking what he wanted to keep. Also if I held it over the dog’s head it looked like a thought bubble.

    I have dreams about people who won’t do what I want. Have even smacked Leslie a few times while thrashing around. I take it as a sign of fighting back and a claim, in your case, not to be fooled with. When a person gets sick it seems like no one hears them and obviously that’s something that can’t be permitted:-)
    S.j

    Reply

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