Never thought I'd want to be a breast cancer survivor
I received an awesome care package yesterday (thanks Jen). The awesomeness began with the card, which is theme for this mostly picture post.
Receiving energy from the ancient tree while out on a short walk.
Trying to capture just how big the tree at our campsite was.
And giving it a morning hug!
It’s 8 am, infants are crying, jays are squawking, there is a fine mist as the park is covered in morning fog from the ocean. It is a perfect morning at Big Basin Redwoods State Park.
Scott has actually fallen back to sleep. This is my time, first thing in the morning. I crawl out of the tent at about 6:30am, my sore back making it impossible for me to sleep any longer. I make my morning cup of coffee and read my book in peace as the campground around me begins to awaken.
I was worried about how I would sleep in the tent. It turns out I actually had one of the best nights sleep since the last round of chemo. The fresh air certainly helps, but also, with the air mattress and thermarest combo that I use, I was actually able to sleep part of the night on my stomach, something that I haven’t done in a long time.
As I write, the pretty jays are harassing each other around the campsite (you can see a couple in the tree on the right side of the picture). The make an awful noise and they are true pests. They eat the eggs and babies of the endangered marbled murrelets which nest in the area. The campsite is “crumb clean” and leaving any garbage or food out can get you an $850 fine! This year they started handing out fines and increasing the awareness campaign – but it may already be too late. There are a lot of these pesky Jays around.
In addition to the jays, and screaming children, you can hear the occasional woodpecker pecking at nearby trees.
What we didn’t see last night, a pleasant surprise, was raccoons. Last time we camped up here they were real pests (if you leave your car door unlatched, they will open it! Fortunately, we had our dinner before dusk and all food was safely stored before racoon time.
Next to the picnic table is a ring of ancient redwoods (a fairy circle). The ring is formed when an old tree dies and feeds a series of new growth. These younger trees are likely over 1000 years old themselves. It is pure magic and exactly what I needed in this moment.
And of course I need to include the requisite morning selfie.
So, I did it, I signed myself up for the Avon Walk. This is a fundraising event that involves walking 39.3 miles over two days. The first day you walk a marathon, and the second day you walk a half marathon. The walk takes place through the city streets – in my case, it will be through the streets of San Francisco. As this is a fundraising walk, I need your help. In order to participate I need to raise at least $1800. So, I’m asking for your help. My fundraising page is: http://info.avonfoundation.org/goto/rjhogue. I may seem like a cliche statement, but every little bit helps.
I really debated signing up for the walk. I don’t generally like these large fundraiser event type things – but I was motivated by several things. First, one of the ladies in one of my support groups spoke very highly of it. She said she found a lot of encouragement in the crowds that gathered to cheer them on. It as an emotional but very uplifting experience, and that takes on a whole new meaning when you are walking as a warrior/survivor.
I looked into where the money went. I’m lucky to be located near Stanford, a center for excellence in breast cancer treatment. It is where a lot of the clinical trials happen. It is one of the few universities in the US that set the standards of treatment for the rest of the country. But I’ve also been lucky to be near Bay Area Women’s Cancer Connections (BCC), an organization that has provided me with a lot of support. There are lots of free resources that have been made available to me. I’m also very aware of a lot of women who are cancer poor. Women who have to make treatment decision based upon their finances. And I don’t even see the women who don’t get screening done or who have very limited access to healthcare. It is a real problem here – and so events like the Avon Walk providing funding for research, they also provide resources for women who could not otherwise afford them.
The final reason I decided to do it (other than the cool opportunity to see San Francisco) was the timing of the walk itself. I’ve started to look beyond treatment – I’m making the move to look ahead in my life. The walk will come at a time when I should have completed the major treatment phases of breast cancer (chemo and surgery). There is some hope that after surgery I get declared “NED” (no evidence of disease). The treatment doesn’t stop there, as I’ll be on hormone blocking medications for 10-years – but I should be disease free. As such, the walk will mark a transition – from warrior to survivor – and that is something significant and should be celebrated.
As I write this, it is day three of my third chemo cycle. I had a great visit with a friend today which did a good job of distracting me from how awful I feel on day 3. Last cycle I also felt awful on day 4, so I have a reiki appointment which will hopefully fill me with healing energy and get me through this cycle. I’m truly hoping that the cumulative effect doesn’t mean I feel awful on day 5! Only one more cycle of AC to go (yay) – and my oncologist promises that T will be better! Going out today gave me an excuse to dress up and try out the stylin’ new hat and earrings my mom sent! I am amused at how much I like to dress up when I go out now – that is so not like the old me.
We are going camping on Saturday night. We have not been camping yet this summer – which is so unlike us. Having a temporary disability permit has been a life saver for me. It has meant that I can run errands even when my energy is low, but it also means we can go camping this weekend. The California State parks set aside certain sites that can only be used by someone with a placard. So even if all the other sites are full, no one else is permitted to use them. This meant that when I was looking for a site on Monday, there was one still available for Saturday. It is a real savior to be able to go camping at the last minute, as there was no way we could have planned in advance how I would be feeling. Honestly, I’m not 100% certain I’ll actually be up for it – but I figure, if nothing else I can spend an afternoon reading a book in my camp chair surrounded by ancient trees – sounds pretty peaceful to me!
I have needed to go to the DMV for a while. I want to apply for my California driver’s license, but also want to get a California ID, in case I cannot get the driving test in a timely fashion.
Yesterday at my oncologist appointment, I asked about getting a disabled parking permit (which allows us to book special campsites at the campgrounds – useful when the campsites are otherwise full). This actually turned out to be rather fortuitous, as the application for the permit (also done at the DMV) meant that I was in a slighter faster line up. It was still a 2.5 hour adventure, but at the end of the day, I now have a temporary California drivers license (still need to book and do the road test), a temporary California ID (which will come in the mail), and a disable parking permit. I actually found myself using the permit today, as it saved me a lot of energy when running errands – errands I likely otherwise would not have completed.
A couple of side benefits to the card is that we don’t need to pay at parking meters and we can park for more than the length of time specified in a parking zone – so when it is 2hr parking, we can stay as long as we need. That is particularly useful for when we go sailing, and tend to park in a 2hr zone and worry about getting a ticket as we are usually there for 3 hours.
