There are times when I find myself wanting to cover my head in something stylish – and I like looking good. There are times when I run out to take out the garbage and I cover my head so as not to scare or make uncomfortable anyone who I might happen to cross paths with in the corridors of the condo.
Today, when I was out sailing, I mostly wore a buff and my Tilley hat.
I usually wear my Tilley hat sailing, so anyone who has seen me before would not notice any difference. There was a brief moment when I took my hat off for a picture – cause I really wanted a picture with the waves and my bald head – mostly for posterity. But I also wanted to feel the wind on my head. At this point, it was easier to put my buff and hat back on, as I needed my hands to hold onto the boat!
But, towards the end of the sail, when it was a little less windy and cold, I found myself wanting (craving) to talk off my hat so I could experience the feeling of the wind on my skull. I love the feel of the wind on my bare head. But I didn’t. I was afraid of how the people around me would react. I was not afraid of showing my bare head, but I didn’t want to make others feel uncomfortable.
When in the car, I often strip off my head scarf. It is either too hot, and I want to cool down, or I’m on a slower road and I want to drive with the windows down. Again, that feeling of breeze on my bare skull is delightful. When I’m in the car, I’m not worried about how my baldness might make others feel (even when stopped at intersections). I’m conscious about it, but not worried about it.
When I had a shaved head, I didn’t worry about it. I often went out without covering up. But now, my head is patchy. It is mostly bald, but still has some patchy bits of hair. Sometimes when I swim, I don’t worry about it and just go bare. Last time I swam, I wore my swim cap. I was OK with changing from my buff to my swim cap at the pool, and I even used the pool shower and exposed my naked head (but found myself hoping that when someone walked by that they didn’t look my way). But I didn’t walk to or from the pool with a bare head.
So I’m of mixed feelings right now. There are times when I want to look fashionable that I am happy to have my head covered in a pretty scarf/buff/whatever. It is a part of the outfit and actually dresses up what I’m wearing. However, there are times when, I would rather not bother covering up. Although, from a practicality perspective, I do need to concern myself with sun protection. My bare head cannot go out in the sun for any length of time, but it certainly craves being exposed for short periods of time (and I do hate wearing a buff under my bike helmet, but I need the sun protection).
So I wonder, how much should I worry about what other people might think? Do I worry about the discussions parents might need to have with their children after seeing me? Is that something that I should even care about?
