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Physically, I’m doing well – Mentally, not so much
I wasn’t sure what to write about anxiety. It is really difficult to explain. For me, it becomes a compulsion to be doing something, which is why I’ve had a hard time taking a rest. I feel like I need to be doing something all the time, otherwise I’ll spiral down. If I can keep…
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From Fatigue to Fear: The Unseen Battles of Post-Treatment Life
With the end of active treatment comes the anxiety and depression that I have been suppressing throughout. The fatigue from radiation has me worried about depression. The nightmares make me concerned about PTSD, and the crying, well, that is the only way I can cope right now. I was reminded of a concept I learned…
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And then there was one
Tomorrow will be my last radiation treatment – yay. So far I’ve managed without too much skin irritation (yay again). The doctor did mention that things could get worse or better over the next couple of weeks, but within a month I should be fully recovered skin wise as well as internally, which affects fatigue.…
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Clearing the brain
Clearing the brain I got some good news today. The results of the CT scan of my head are clear, meaning there is no sign of cancer in my brain. I’m cancer free – actually, I’ve been cancer free since my surgery back in August (August 23rd – I had to look it up). However,…
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Intentional Living
The routine of radiation involves me getting up and walking to the hospital for my appointment. This week, my appointments have been in the morning. It is a 10-15 minute walk which has reminded me how much I enjoy walking in the morning – even when it is snowy – but especially when the sun…
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Radiation is a mental struggle
Radiation treatment, in theory, is easier than chemo. It is easier on your body – in that the physical side effects are skin issues and fatigue. You don’t need to deal with all the other side effects of chemotherapy. However, for chemo I only had to convince myself to go four times. I had four…
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Radiation and Losing Friends
Radiation started this week. So far it has only been two treatments. They go pretty fast. Immediately afterwards I find myself wondering if I’m feeling anything. Can I tell that the invisible beam is attacking part of my body? We did have a bit of a misunderstanding, for which the radiation oncologist felt bad. I…
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Radiation, Recall, and Lymphedema
Today I start radiation treatment. It is a 15-session spread over 4 weeks. The first two sessions are this week, then for the next week and the week after, I go for 5 days. For this week, they are putting us up in a hotel that is a short walking distance to the treatment center.…
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Going maskless
On Friday I went to a meeting – in person – without a mask. I realized that it has been the first time in at least 4 months that I have been in a room with people without both them and me wearing a mask. When I went through cancer the first time, I didn’t…
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All marked up
On Thursday we made our way into Halifax for my radiation marking appointment. When I arrived at check in, there was a distinct lack of information. The person at reception showed me where to change and told me where to wait after I was finished changing – however, she didn’t tell me how I needed…
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Some better news
After much waiting during the day, my oncologist finally called. He said that next time I should go about my day normally, and if I miss his call he will call back – he makes sure he gets everyone who is scheduled for a phone consult. That is good to know. We talked about next…
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That dreaded 50%
Fifty percent was a number thrown out there, related to recurrence after a regional recurrence. This was the first time someone threw a number out there and it had me unsettled. When I meet with my oncologist next week, I will talk to him more about prognosis. I’ve done some research, and 50% is on…
