active treatment ∼ Page 17 ∼ BC Becky

Impostor syndrome (no longer)

Mon June 16, 2014

This morning it occurred to me that what I was feeling was what we call in PhD land, impostor syndrome. This hits most often when you first begin your…

The speed of things

Mon June 16, 2014

active treatment

Everything is either too fast or too slow. I feel like the cancer is growing too fast. With each new ache in my body I am worried about it…

Humour in the moment – which boobs should I wear?

Mon June 16, 2014

active treatment

In this moment, we (Scott and I) often find ourselves laughing at things that are rather absurd, but real none-the-less. I recognize it clearly as a coping mechanism, and…

How do you prepare to lose a body part?

Sun June 15, 2014

active treatment

When the surgeon told me that most likely I would need a mastectomy I did not really internalize what that meant. When a new friend mentioned that it was…

I am an academic

Sun June 15, 2014

active treatment

Last week, I was reflecting deeply on who I am and where I want to go. I did not get shortlisted for my dream job. Part of the reason…

What should I hope for?

Sat June 14, 2014

active treatment

While I await the biopsy results, and other test results, I find myself wondering - what should I be hoping for? If you are going to have breast cancer,…

It all started …

Sat June 14, 2014

active treatment

... with denial. I felt something. Could it be what I was feeling was just a muscle strain. Surely if I waited a couple of days it would go…