Tag Archives: emotions

Significance of dates and getting ready for chemo

It is funny how special dates have meaning – and how we know what dates are good dates and which are not. I wanted to strongly avoid starting chemo on July 1st, as I did not want every Canada Day to be a reminder. Instead, the date aligns with a date that already has meaning… Read More »

Caution – this one talks a bit about death …

First off, I must start this with a couple of pictures from my beautiful ride up Mount Hamilton this afternoon. It took me 2 hours to climb the 7 miles (not quite 11km) of all up hill. Throughout the climb I found myself stopping in shaded corners to both catch my breath and cry.  When… Read More »

Double-mastectomy and chemo

If I’m repeating myself, I apologize. One thing that I’ve noticed over the last two or three days is that my short-term memory sucks. I cannot seem to hold thoughts for that long, and I am very often walking into a room having completely forgotten why I was there. Worse, is that I sit in… Read More »

The speed of things

Everything is either too fast or too slow. I feel like the cancer is growing too fast. With each new ache in my body I am worried about it spreading. Is this another symptom? Has it reached my lymph nodes? I am constantly wondering, should I be worried about this or that? And at the… Read More »

Humour in the moment – which boobs should I wear?

In this moment, we (Scott and I) often find ourselves laughing at things that are rather absurd, but real none-the-less. I recognize it clearly as a coping mechanism, and something that is definitely needed. But I’m also aware of how easily something funny can turn into something not funny. I recall back in my undergrad… Read More »

How do you prepare to lose a body part?

When the surgeon told me that most likely I would need a mastectomy I did not really internalize what that meant. When a new friend mentioned that it was like an amputation, that in some ways helped me see the scope of the surgery. It becomes even more real when I think that this could… Read More »