I’m at a loss for what to do with myself, or more, how I should be thinking.
I’m working, preparing my courses which start the week after next. That is keeping me busy.
When she allows it, I spend time with my best friend. I say that, because she has become overwhelmed with people wanting to see her, and she had been so sick that she needed someone around 24hrs a day that she didn’t get any alone time. Now that she is feeling a little better (yay to that), she is healthy enough to be alone at least for a few hours a day.
My PhD is on hold, which is a good thing. Although I did find myself sort of writing my discussion chapter in my head as I was hiking the other day – hiking alone. Allowing myself to gather my own thoughts.
I am still dealing with various aspects of mom’s estate. One of my Aunt reflected on how being executor made it a lot more difficult for her to grieve. That her duties meant that she couldn’t let go or move on.
I have missed the summer here – having spent most of it up in Ottawa. The temperatures here now are a clear indication that fall has arrived (highs mid 20s, lows in the low teens). The weather is actually pretty perfect right now.
Scott and I did decide to try out an adventure. We are doing a Mountain Bike tour up in Marin – where Mountain Bikes were invented – on Monday (hopefully – we are awaiting confirmation).
I just feel like I’m going through the motions but not having any emotions about it. No sadness but also no passion.
I’m finding writing difficult – blogging difficult. I know I need to write something for my academic / professional blog but really I don’t know what to write about. Even this post is a little lost – as I don’t have complete thoughts about it – but I do feel the need to write something, just to get that writing muscle back into shape.
And so, I’m hoping that one day soon, I shall be found … but I’m not expecting that to happen in the next month … I’m hoping it happens before I’m expected to finish off my PhD in January!