I used to love traveling. I loved flying to new places, experiencing new cultures, eating new foods. Now travel is stressing me out. I find that I need to plan a lot of the details, and not leave things to chance. I cannot travel as light as I would like, and yet, I cannot carry that much either. I find myself wanting to be that healthy easy going traveller that I used to be. But I’m not. Travel is now complicated.
I now find myself wanting to spend more time at home. Wanting to be in some form of normal routine.
I have a trip planned in two weeks. I’m headed to the UK for a couple of conferences. I’m looking forward to the trip, to visiting various people, to the various experiences of it. But I’m also stressed out about it. When I stress, I try to plan things to reduce the stress, but that takes away the spontaneity of the trip. With each thing that is planned, there is a reduction in the chance encounters that enrich the experience.
And so, perhaps, I need to let go of traveling on my own for a bit. I need to get stronger. I need to get my mind back. I need to feel like I can do this on my own, that I can let go of the need to plan everything and go with the flow – whatever that flow needs to be.
But it sucks that it is all so complicated now!