I used to see myself as someone with lots of tenacity. It is what got me through tough days on our Going East bike tour, but also the tough days during chemo. I walk through the queasiness and neuropathy pain. I exercised every day!
Now that I’m no longer in active treatment, I’m finding it more difficult to call upon my tenacity. It is a daily struggle. I do find it easier when I’m with someone. Hiking with my hubby while on vacation, I find myself hiking longer trails at higher elevations than I thought I could, but still, I am comparing myself to before and finding myself wholly inadequate. I don’t want to feel pain when I hike. I don’t want to be limited by how much my feet hurt.
I find myself looking back and wondering where I found the strength before? What was inside me that allowed me to call upon my tenacity and perseverance to get through it all? How can I find that again and get that back?