While walking today I found myself reflecting on why I no longer take selfies when I walk. Early on, and throughout chemotherapy, I always took a selfie of me smiling while I walked along the trail. I don’t do that anymore.
One reason, is that I’m in theory finished treatment. Although my body aches, I am done with the cancer. One of the reasons I started taking selfies, was that I wanted there to be lots of pictures of me smiling. If I didn’t make it, there would be lots of happy memories for my funeral. Sounds pretty morbid, but that, in part was what I was thinking. I also wanted to show my family who live on the other side of the continent, that I was doing OK. My smile was the one thing you saw in every picture – to show that I’m doing just fine.
I am still walking, and this weekend I will start biking again. My plastic surgeon did caution me, that I’m still healing. She was pretty clear, until 8 weeks have passed, I’m healing and I’m not to overdo it … I don’t want to over do it, I just want to do it! Walking is painful. I’m slow, but my feet also hurt. The neuropathy pain gets worse the more I walk – so it is challenging to do – but since it is the only exercise I can do, I do it … almost every day. I’m so looking forward to adding biking into the mix. Crossing my fingers it all works out.