I got out for a bike ride this afternoon, 21km on the trike. What was really interesting is when my iPod started playing Bon Jovi’s “It’s my life”. This song has had special meaning for me, ever since karaoke in the crew lounge in the middle of the Atlantic on a container ship. I almost always listened to it when I ride, and over the years it has always provided me with a moment of reflection – and usually a smile at the reality that my life is pretty darn good. The song has always caused a reflection in the moment, causing me to count my blessings, it has always been a celebration of happiness. At least until cancer hit … ever since my diagnosis I haven’t had any reaction to the song. My reaction has been more of indifference. At least until today.
For the first time since my diagnosis, I had that same happiness reaction to the song. Perhaps it was the extra three days off chemo, I’m not sure. For the first time since my cancer journey began, I have been able to see beyond cancer. Until now, I had been seeing all the doors that had been closing, but suddenly today, I’m seeing the doors that are opening. I’m signing up for crazy things that my cancer diagnosis is allowing me to sign up for like Cameras Over Cancer. I’m feeling good about my surgery decision and looking forward to ‘the new me’ after surgery. There indeed are some benefits to having a plastic surgeon sculpt your excess body fat into something more cosmetically appealing. I’m curious to see what my ‘new normal’ body weight will be. I’m free of worrying about my body weight and BMI now, knowing that my weight will necessarily change as a result of the surgery.
I’ve also found that cancer has introduced me to many incredible people – people that I otherwise may never have crossed paths with. I had not realized how much of a local support group I actually had until I found myself in need of a ride to my next chemo session as Scott is away on business next week (chemo side effects mean I cannot drive myself right now). I was amazed at just how many people offered help when I asked. One blessing that cancer has brought me are all the wonderful people that I now know, for that, I am thankful.